It really is time to get a laptop.
August 31, 2009
The internet on my PC doesn’t work, but somehow it works on the Wii. So yes, I’m updating on the Wii. I got a keyboard for it, but it’s still a nightmare. No copy and paste function, the extreme slowness and awkwardness… it’s just not great. I mean, it’s fine if you just want to quickly look something up or check your emails, but it takes all the fun out of pretty much anything else. But anyway…
I only got paid on Friday and already I’m thinking of clothes shopping. But it’s practical, really! I need a new coat for winter, so if I go buy one now I’ll be prepared for once. But also today I got the October issue of Elle delivered… I haven’t had a chance to read much of it but after just flicking through it I feel like I have no decent clothes and have to buy some more. Maybe now would be a good time to start angling for a payrise… though I have a bad feeling about that. Maybe I should sell a bunch of stuff.
On a sidenote, I stared at the cover of Elle for ages before I realised it was Lily Allen. The blonde hair threw me. I’m not sure it’s a good look for her but whatever floats your boat.
Oh, and to make things worse I’ve just found out about House of Fraser’s Disney Couture jewellery range! Necklaces with little treasure chests on them… come on! It’s completely genius. But that’s why I don’t let myself on the Disney website. I also try and stop myself going into the Disney store when I’m at the Buchanan Galleries / St Enoch’s Centre, but I just tend to automatically veer towards it. Though actually, I haven’t been in there in a while. That could be because I haven’t been able to just wander around lately, with all the toe hassle. Damn feet. But in about a week’s time I’ll be healed and I’ll be back researching in Borders at night and going out on Friday nights again (it’s been FAR too long, seriously). I can’t wait. Though it might be a while before I’m actually dancing again, hah.
Ooh, got tickets to advance preview of ‘An Education’ on 12 October. I don’t know much about it except for the fact it has Emma Thompson in it, therefore must be good I reckon. Also it’s set in 1960s London, so it should be fun.
Woohoo, three day weekend!
August 30, 2009
Tomorrow’s bank holiday Monday and my office have mercifully given us a holiday for once. Yay! So far I’ve spent my time watching the Simpsons (as always), playing Zelda obsessively, eating too much and listening to the radio (it’s Beatles Bank Holiday on Radio 2 – no one should be missing a second of this! As I write this I’m listening to Johnnie Walker in conversation with Paul McCartney!)
So it might sound like I’m wasting time but mainly I’m enjoying the laziness of a Sunday that isn’t going to be followed by another day in a job I hate. Love it!
Also, I’ve been reading a biography of Walt Disney by Neal Gabler. I’m only a third of the way through (and it’s almost 700 pages long, so I have quite a bit to go) and I’m fascinated. I’ve always been a huge Disney fan, and I’ve become more and more interested in animation recently. When you watch documentaries on most Disney DVDs – like on Lady and the Tramp there’s an amazing Making Of feature – you will see animation historians talking. And I keep wondering, how do you even become an animation historian? I think it’s something I could do, something I’d love to do. Caragh thinks I should be a Simpsons animation historian. Which is basically a genius idea.
Speaking of Caragh, I’ve told her I think she should have some kind of column here. What with some of the crazy dreams she has it’d be hilarious! So here’s hoping she does.
Now I’m going to go back to playing Zelda and try and stop sneezing. Stupid cold…
Edit: Just remembered! I had the strangest dream last night that I won a competition (The answer I texted to the competition line was ‘love today’ but I can’t remember the question) and I got a phone call saying I’d won. The phone call was from Mika. I was so excited to be talking to Mika that I have no idea what I actually won. Probably signed merchandise or something. BUT the second part of my prize (if I could name, on the air, Mika’s new song. Which I did) was a shopping trip with Gok Wan. A bit of a strange link, but good! So Gok took me shopping and we went for lunch. And that was it. Insane…
“Don’t yearn for the past, look forward to the future”
August 26, 2009
September is approaching at an alarming rate (seriously, I swear they made months longer when I was younger) so it’s as good a time as any for a fresh start. To make more of an effort in certain parts of my life and to try to live by the above quotation – which won’t be easy. I think one of my biggest problems might be my nostalgic tendencies – it has to be said that I do tend to live in the past, which can make the past and present become confused. Then, of course, the present becomes a past I haven’t really lived. With all of that, I’m embracing assertiveness! At least, I’m trying to. At work I’ve always been a bit of a doormat, so it’s no wonder they think they can do what they like with me. Well, not anymore. I’m not putting up with their nonsense just because I’m shy.
My dream in life ever since I wrote my first story (which was way back in Primary School – Primary Four i think, if not sooner) has always been to have a book published. In Primary Five I wrote a short story about a girl who was shipwrecked on a magical island (that’s all the detail I can remember! Must dig that out…) and my teacher, Miss Harvey, insisted on reading it to the class. I was mortified, until I realised everyone actually liked it. When I left Primary School to go to High School, Miss Harvey wrote a note in my yearbook – “remember me when you’re famous!” And I will, whether I make it or not. Now I have two books published, and I’m doing little about it. I had planned on sending Little Vampire to Borders once it was published. Almost a month later and I haven’t done a thing. It’s a mixture of laziness and cowardice, to be perfectly honest. But I will do it.
Plus, I have the beginnings of an idea for a new novel. A historical novel, set in one of my favourite time periods – but that’s all I’ll say for now. There’s a lot of research to be done, so I’ll need to focus on that.
It’s just typical that when I decide all of this I come down with a bad cold and end up going to bed as soon as I go home from work each night. Murphy’s law. Here’s hoping it goes away soon and I can get to work – apart from anything else, I’m tired of having a sore red nose, and being all clogged up doesn’t really help with the assertiveness much.
Anyway, the good news of the day? Big Brother is finally going to end, after one more series! This will free up about 200 hours apparently, and the money will be used to make new dramas and ‘other programmes’. The latter strikes an ominous chord, since it could mean more reality TV. Still, at least it’s not Big Brother! No offence to any fans, I’m just sick of people getting famous for being on it. It’s too easy for people to become a celebrity these days.
Well, time for soup and bed!
Waiting
August 15, 2009
I am a princess of sorts, imprisoned in the highest tower. I work as I wait to be set free. For every princess in distress there is a knight in shining armour to rescue her. So I wait, as the dragon paces behind me. She breathes down my neck, hot and impatient.
Will he crash through the window and take me away? Perhaps he will fight his way past security and, swords clattering, he will take the stairs. The dragon won’t intimidate him at all – he will destroy her with ease. Then he will sweep me off my feet, take me in his arms and kiss me.
For now, though, the door remains locked. I suppose I should get back to my filing – the dragon just hates it when I start daydreaming.
Dreams: Ignorance is Bliss
August 12, 2009
I haven’t been dreaming much recently. I figured it was the stress of the day, tiring me into a disturbed and dreamless sleep. Then, after one particularly awful day at work, I dreamt of him. He turned up at my door – “surprise.” And of course I let him in and we talked. Since it was a dream, everything was perfect and comfortable. We both apologised for different things and that was it. Forgiven. Then, naturally, I woke up. For the entire day my mind was preoccupied. To be honest, I think about him nearly every day anyway, but this was different. A fogging of the mind, nothing made sense anymore. My head was stuck some three years in the past, and it was making the opposite choice over and over, even though it kills me to think about it.
It got me thinking about the power of dreams. I’ve had similar experiences before, generally the result of a nightmare though. Nightmares are evil and terrifying until you wake up, and sometimes they even stay with you for a few moments as you lie in bed, still gripped with illogical terror. Even once it fades, the rest of the day can seem different – a little bit off.
As I was dreaming, I was somehow conscious of the fact that I felt truly happy for the first time in quite a while. The euphoric feeling stuck with me only for seconds, then I could cling no longer and tumbled headlong into apathy. But the dream stuck with me all day – a niggling, unrealistic hope fluttering around my mind. In a way maybe that’s a good thing, to feel only a little hope rather than living in wait for something that isn’t likely to happen. I could still feel the dream, strangely vivid in my head – remembering everything from the pyjamas I was wearing (the pyjamas I actually had wore to bed that night) to the red coffee mug. I remember everything about how he looked, to the smallest and most painful detail: it’s easier when I don’t remember everything.
Still, in the past I’ve also had dreams that leave me inexplicably cheerful all day, long after my memory of the dream fades with no apathetic aftermath whatsoever. Although I had no idea what I dreamt, I still feel good. I’ve decided these dreams are the best kind. My dream felt all too real, too happy, too fairy-tale – so when I think about it now I feel myself sinking even lower because this is real life, and in this world he remains to be “the man that got away”. I’d love to have one of those silly forgettable dreams to lift my spirits tonight – after all, sometimes ignorance really is bliss.
Website makeover!
August 6, 2009
So, a new design and a new start! I was getting loads of spam on my old blog, and I figured a new start was in order anyway. Since Little Vampire was published on Sunday I thought it’d be a good idea to sort everything out. Click on ‘About’ to see the new pages and such.
I’ve still to update some things, like the links on the left etc. Otherwise I’m pretty happy.
On holiday today and tomorrow. Work’s driving me insane so I needed this break. Off to visit my Gran in Fife tomorrow. Will be nice just to get away for a couple of days. I really need to find a new job but there doesn’t seem to be many to choose from, funnily enough!
Off to get a Chinese with Caragh. Being greedy 