“Pink, it was love at first sight”
October 4, 2009
Love it!!
Have had a nice quiet cosy weekend, like the little old lady I am. Friday night Michaela and I went for burgers and mocktails (she was driving) and then discovered Urban Outfitters was having a lock in – open till 10pm with 20% off everything! So we got the very first item for our flat – a set of multi-coloured test tubes for shots. Important! And Michaela got an awesome red shirt. Then Toy Story in 3D! That was genius. That finished at about half twelve, and we went to a 24 hour Tesco cos strangely that’s what we felt like doing. But I got a black and white checked shirt and a red belt to go with it, photos to come cos I love it! Bargain too.
So Friday night was extremely wet and horrible outside so I figured I’d stay in all weekend and keep looking up flats etc. Probably sounds boring but it’s kinda all I’m interested in doing right now. I had the most vivid dream I’ve ever had about anyone on Friday night. So much that I couldn’t even drag myself out of bed until 11, and if you know me you’ll know I’m a morning person and I hate staying in bed that late. But that’s depressing. I’m not doing very well at sticking to those resolutions I guess.
Watching Gavin & Stacey, got a bit addicted to it recently! Loves Nessa 
Now I’m off for a hot chocolate, woohoo.
Dreams: Ignorance is Bliss
August 12, 2009
I haven’t been dreaming much recently. I figured it was the stress of the day, tiring me into a disturbed and dreamless sleep. Then, after one particularly awful day at work, I dreamt of him. He turned up at my door – “surprise.” And of course I let him in and we talked. Since it was a dream, everything was perfect and comfortable. We both apologised for different things and that was it. Forgiven. Then, naturally, I woke up. For the entire day my mind was preoccupied. To be honest, I think about him nearly every day anyway, but this was different. A fogging of the mind, nothing made sense anymore. My head was stuck some three years in the past, and it was making the opposite choice over and over, even though it kills me to think about it.
It got me thinking about the power of dreams. I’ve had similar experiences before, generally the result of a nightmare though. Nightmares are evil and terrifying until you wake up, and sometimes they even stay with you for a few moments as you lie in bed, still gripped with illogical terror. Even once it fades, the rest of the day can seem different – a little bit off.
As I was dreaming, I was somehow conscious of the fact that I felt truly happy for the first time in quite a while. The euphoric feeling stuck with me only for seconds, then I could cling no longer and tumbled headlong into apathy. But the dream stuck with me all day – a niggling, unrealistic hope fluttering around my mind. In a way maybe that’s a good thing, to feel only a little hope rather than living in wait for something that isn’t likely to happen. I could still feel the dream, strangely vivid in my head – remembering everything from the pyjamas I was wearing (the pyjamas I actually had wore to bed that night) to the red coffee mug. I remember everything about how he looked, to the smallest and most painful detail: it’s easier when I don’t remember everything.
Still, in the past I’ve also had dreams that leave me inexplicably cheerful all day, long after my memory of the dream fades with no apathetic aftermath whatsoever. Although I had no idea what I dreamt, I still feel good. I’ve decided these dreams are the best kind. My dream felt all too real, too happy, too fairy-tale – so when I think about it now I feel myself sinking even lower because this is real life, and in this world he remains to be “the man that got away”. I’d love to have one of those silly forgettable dreams to lift my spirits tonight – after all, sometimes ignorance really is bliss.